Dear Diary,<\/strong> We kicked off the week with idioms, which are apparently “just pirate code\u201d<\/em>, according to my enthusiastic 10-year-old student, Andre. \u201cDead as a doornail? That\u2019s something a pirate would say.\u201d He now insists on saying <\/span>\u201cI must walk the plank!\u201d<\/em> every time he makes a mistake in speaking practice. I am slightly alarmed, but also impressed by the commitment.<\/span><\/p>\n I tried something new: a rap challenge where students had to rhyme using irregular verbs. \u201cI wrote<\/em> a note, then drove<\/em> a boat, One of my teenage students from Brazil showed up with his golden retriever<\/strong> sitting next to him at the desk<\/em>. Tech problems, thy name is Zoom filter. One of my long-time students told me she couldn\u2019t complete her assignment because her dog ate her laptop charger<\/strong>. Saturday: I spent four hours cleaning my keyboard with a toothpick. Don\u2019t ask why \u2014 I find it meditative. I try to teach English while stuck in an airport<\/p>\n The fridge question<\/p>\n<\/li>\n And we discuss why British spelling is a conspiracy<\/em><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n Until next time \u2013 stay caffeinated and conjugated.<\/strong> Diary of an Online English Tutor \u2013 Week 1: Pirates, Potatoes, and Pronunciation Panic Dear Diary,I survived another week in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":564,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[23,22],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-555","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-teacher-diary","category-ielts"],"yoast_head":"\n
I survived another week in the wild world of online English tutoring. The highs were high, the Wi-Fi was low, and I briefly became a root vegetable. Let\u2019s review.<\/p>\n
\nMonday \u2013 Argh, Matey! It\u2019s Idiom Time<\/strong><\/h3>\n
His argument:<\/p>\n\n
\u201cSpill the beans? Definitely pirate behavior.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
\nTuesday \u2013 Grammar Rap Battle (It Was a Tie)<\/strong><\/h3>\n
One student came in HOT with:<\/p>\n
I ate<\/em> a goat… wait, can I do that?\u201d
Another replied:
\u201cYou sang<\/em>, I swam<\/em>, but grammar still BAM!\u201d<\/p>\n
I awarded no points for nutritional accuracy but full marks for flair.
Also, someone\u2019s grandma was watching off-camera and clapped after every verse. Iconic.<\/p>\n
\nWednesday \u2013 The Dog Who Stole the Show<\/strong><\/h3>\n
The dog was staring at the screen like he, too, wanted to learn the Present Perfect.
Halfway through our reading task, the dog gently placed a paw on the keyboard.
Suddenly, the screen was filled with:
\u201cFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF\u201d<\/strong>
We decided that was his opinion on phrasal verbs.
We both agreed.<\/p>\n
\nThursday \u2013 I Was a Potato. Again.<\/strong><\/h3>\n
I logged into my 9 a.m. lesson and, without warning, my face became a giant, spotty potato.<\/strong>
I tried to fix it but my mouse froze, so I just taught the whole lesson that way.
To my student\u2019s credit, he only laughed for ten straight minutes.
Later, another student told me: \u201cI understood everything you said. But I couldn\u2019t take grammar advice from a vegetable.\u201d<\/em>
Fair point. Fair point.<\/p>\n
\nFriday \u2013 \u201cMy Dog Ate My Homework\u201d Goes Digital<\/strong><\/h3>\n
I laughed.
She held up the chewed cable.
I apologized.
The dog also barked during the lesson, as if to say, \u201cYeah, I did that. Try me.\u201d<\/em>
We now have a new rule: All homework submissions must be dog-proof.<\/p>\n
\nWeekend \u2013 Sweet, Blissful Freedom (and Weird Hobby Time)<\/h2>\n
I also<\/em> rearranged my bookshelf by \u201clevel of emotional damage the book caused.\u201d And yes, \u201cHarry Potter and the Half Blood Prince” <\/strong>is near the top. Because Dumbledore. “sniff”
Sunday was spent at a used bookstore where I bought a grammar guide from 1973 for absolutely no reason other than the fact that it smells like knowledge and mothballs.<\/p>\n
\nComing up next week:<\/h3>\n
\n
\u270f\ufe0f \u2013 The Slightly-Overcooked Potato (aka Your Tutor)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"